How to influence People?
- Magical Mindful Living
- 3 days ago
- 3 min read
How to be a good barber?
Recently I had an encounter with a barber. Not the regular one I am used to. So, as expected he didn't do a good job. When I asked to keep hair long, he made it short, and one more unhappy customer added it to his list. Have you ever played these games, where you are expected to satisfy customers? You play the role of the barber, Hairdresser or a farmer, and your expected role is to satisfy the customers. It is really hard, in a game and even more in real life. Each customer expects different things, and sometimes for the seller this can be overwhelming. But to satisfy a customer you have to provide what they expect. And this is exactly how to win an argument, a relationship or friendship. If you wanna keep a dialogue going with your partner or friend, you have to provide what they need. Not what you need, forced on them, just like the bad example from the barber.
How to influence people ? Lessons from fortune tellers.
I have seen a group of people who are just capable of doing this. The fortune tellers. Last time we went on a pilgrimage we met these fortune tellers, who almost scammed us. They will grab your hand and start telling things you like to hear. Even Though you know it's a scam you cannot take your hand out, as they keep pounding words after words of sweet future and a past which is exactly what you wanna hear. Sometimes it feels like they even know you from childhood. They might tell you things even your partner do not know about you. How is this possible. And my theory is as following, and you are welcome to comment.
I think they byheart, about 10 fortunes. Pre-written ones, and they choose one according to the appearance and conduct of you. Let's say you are a number 4 character person, and they started with number 6. And while talking they see your reactions and slowly change their story to number 5 and then number 4. Voilà, from this point onwards you are hooked to their nonsense, as they perfectly match your future vision against their blueprint.
I can remember a long time ago, I read somewhere that everyone has a story. And all of them are searching for someone to tell their story. If you are a good listener, and encourage them with a little question about their life with genuine interest, they are gonna start talking. Until you hear everything. I am not sure if that is empathy or cunningness. But it really works and you can put a lasting impression on someone as you are allowed to see the depths of their hearts.
I haven't read the book, "How to influence people". I never wanted to until recently as I did not know the values of people, and where they are coming from. But as an introvert I can tell you that you won't make it until you convert yourself into a people person. Or at least appear as such. According to great "runaway" singer Aurora, coming out to interact with people is like "shitting in front of a crowd on stage". Yet it is necessary to do so as introverts die in millions with their talents never being unearthed, as they seek solitary confinements for their comfort. If you feel like one then this is my advice for you.
How to satisfy a customer?
Think you are a barber and the person who is interacting with you is your customer. Give him short hair if he wants it short. And give him long hair if he wants long. Do not try to give him the best haircut possible, unless you are "The barber" who cuts the hair of Justin Beiber. Because its going to make him unhappy and make you regret. And no haircut is superior to another, its just part of the illusion of life anyway.
Unfortunately, however, if you give someone what they want or, more accurately, what you think they want, you likely end up depriving them of getting the authentic you.