How to gain success without suffering - "No pain no gain" is this even true?
- Magical Mindful Living
- Mar 16
- 3 min read
Updated: Mar 18
I had a poster once, on my wall. With a man free climbing a rock. With sweat all over his body, watching in eyes of determination. He looked ferocious, tired yet trumpet in a way. And at the bottom it said "No pain no gain" I can remember I believed in that those days. Hard work leads us to success in life. And I wonder if any successful person would argue against this. It seemed a generally good rule to follow. I have kept on trying, even when it is painful to do so. Now having felt zeros of life now I ask myself, is it a good rule to follow? Would I do that if I go back to that time again? It's difficult to answer. Because now I believe any suffering for that matter is unnecessary. Instead I consider the following.

Suffering in life is unnecessary and excessive. Pain on the other hand is unavoidable.
Pain is unavoidable but suffering is avoidable.
We as humans possess the weak human body. It is going to wear and tear like old grandpa's bicycle. And going to cause pain. This is unavoidable. There is no running away from this. But suffering or the mental counterpart of pain is more abundant than physical pain. However it is a very avoidable thing. The easy answer to this kind of mental suffering is "letting it go". But how is the problem? Even in the worst kind of mental pain like loss of a loved one, we will have to let it go, until we do that we might not be able to overcome the suffering and get on with life. But how can we get rid of something if we do not know how it arises in the first place? This is where mindfulness wisdom comes into play.
Imagine a group of kids playing in a dollhouse. They are cooking and making an imaginary lunch. While adults joined the play, their dog crashed in and tipped everything over. All the pots and pans on the floor. And kids start to cry. They actually cry over some imaginary meal which spilled. The lunch they prepared is not so imaginary for them. But they are in early development and the margins of what is imaginary and what is real is blurry for them. Adults do not cry. They are capable of hiding their laughter looking at stupidity and empathise with a fake sadness. And divert kids attention to something else so they can console better.
No pain no gain? Or suffering is avoidable in success?
The pain that kids feel is unnecessary, excessive and avoidable. But they are not ready for the truth yet. They are not mature. Adults on the other hand are better equipped with knowledge. They can separate their thoughts from imaginary and real, like a swan separating milk from water. But the question is, is that the only level of truth? Would you not be sad over a spilled lunch?
Mindfulness lets us observe our thoughts over time. And understand that so called living is abstractions and assumptions. Truth is just a probability, and your "lunch which fell on the floor" is another probable truth. You can assume a thousand reasons for this and start blaming the guy who knocked you, but everything seems to harbour this probability of not being true, maybe your response is unnecessary and excessive, just like a kid at imaginary play.
And if you just apply the same wisdom to the suffering and anger you will notice the anger and suffering you feel lasts only because you agree with its presence. The moment you realise this it is going to change and disappear and in the same place, you might even feel better. Imagine feeling good about a spilled lunch? How many people in the world can do that? How many do you think?
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