Wantings.

Ever since my existance have been modeled by the universe, I wanted. It started with simple things, like wanting to be hunger free, wanting to be warm. Wanting to be felt nice wrapped in warm cloths. And it was hard to figure out wantings at first, as there were no words. Wanting existed in its pure form, just as a wanting.

Desires

But as a neonate becomes a toddler, wantings started to appear with names. Wanting of mother, and father. As that would create fullfilment of many other unknown wantings. Wanting to walk, not to fall. Wanting to see colorful things. Wanting to taste everything from doorbells to hair. Wanting to pee and poop and play.

Evolution of wantings.

Gradually wantings started to shape themselves, with labels. Cakes, sweets, mangoes, puddings and pies. Lullabies, songs, melodies music and sermons. Feathers, tickles, smooth moisturised touch. And I could separae tastes of a dozon different types of coffees, and make preferences along with it.

While all these weaved tapastries covered the core wanting, it started to be difficult to figure out where everything comes from. Instead of tackling wantings at its origin, The man started to chase after every end game. Wanting to be the first in a class of 30, to excel in the university, to win a field medal in mathematics or an olympic Gold in 100m dash. Wanting to be recognised by a million people on instagram and to become a billionaire. And it did not stop there.

When it is too difficult, confusing and complex, the mind started to wonder into finding out peace. Persue meanings, and paths to heaven. Even wanting the death to be pleasent rewarding experience. Chasing views of nature, doubting the experience. I am not sure this is the journey of every human being. I see some stuck in different stages.

I see some struggle with tastes, they cannot stop their wantings to eat, until they become diabetics and lose it anyway. Some cannot stop building muscles, until they become covered with wrinkes anyway.

Wanting peace

I see some struggle with equations, wanting to crack them before the next genious does it without a struggle. Some, want to row a boat. Drive an expensive car, and dine in a five star restaurant. The same man figure out the wantings doesn't stop there, he gives up everything to charity and seek a path to peace, just to be lost in an illusionary mental status in the middle of nowhere. I see that wantings which did not stop in a luxurious bed on a five star hotel would not magically end in a forest monastery, so they start building a kitchen in the jungle, this time with haystacks.

Wanting to get rid of wantings.

The mind which is wanting is the problem. The problem which should disspear, when identified. Not solved. So, now I just wait looking at my wantings. Right now it wants, the raining to stop and this article to be completed. What do you want right now?

Let's do some mindfulness practise on our wantings.