First step to happiness is allowing in Unhappiness.

I have heard different versions of above quotes over many years. "Give yourself permission to be human" or "The greatest happiness is to know the source of unhappiness -Dostoevsky." Have I given a serious thought about this prior. I do not think so. Yet intuitively I have come to the same conclusion and would agree with the above Quote, by Ekart Tolle. In a life, no matter how much wealth, or utopian it may seem, we cannot achieve a continuous level of happiness. Such a life doesn't exist. And even absurd trying for that, as the progression in life is always with enduring of hardships, which doesn't provide continuous happy occasions at all. On the other hand, life is not hopeless. There is something we can do, in each and every happy and unhappy moment in life. And these things are called actions, not reactions.

Happiness

Post happiness reaction

Consider, a recent happy event your life. What did you do, when this happiness occurred. Did you forget all your past, and felt like a bubbling soda can, in a TV commercial bursting out happiness. Did you call several people and posted on Facebook with a triumph and joy and elation? Now, that happy feeling is gone, how do you feel about your actions now? Do you regret doing any of these? Should you have just celebrated your happy occasion with few friends instead, with a casual smile? Have you even considered the feeling of happiness that you felt in those moments? Did you feel how it felt compared to the past, that it was not there? Did you know your happiness well enough before you broadcast it to the public? Did you consider how long will it last, till next time when you face further challenges from your ordinary life? I haven't.

Compare this with what you do after you learn that you are unhappy for some reason, and I suggest you have opposite of reactions than happiness. Withdrawal, tears and loneliness may follow with self-blame. All these reactions happen even before you critically analyze the source of these happy and unhappy feelings.

Gratitude and happiness

I haven't investigated happiness or unhappiness in the past. I did not consider my happiness or unhappiness as an object of mind. So, whenever it was there, I do not know now. I have passed numerous exams, Yet I am not aware ever I felt happy. I have written 600 blog articles, and I have not considered what I feel after writing each one of them. How ignorant I have been. I should have been more grateful about what life have provided me with, when I am well aware of all the other subjects who are not privileged as I am in this world. If you are not going to die by tomorrow morning, I suggest you do the same. Take a moment to appreciate, all the opportunities life has provided for you to feel some happiness, calmness and sensible peace. This costs nothing more than few minutes of thought.

And the unhappiness, is the friend of happiness. They go hand in hand. They contrast each other in life. When you are unhappy, that is the opportunity which brings out happiness later. Similarly, when you are happy that is the contrast with unhappiness that you have felt in the past brings out the happiness. To truly understand happiness, and embrace it means, that you are allowing unhappiness too. Because they do not travel alone. This is again not absurdity. It is wisdom according to Fitzgerald to learn to live with dilemmas like these.

Unhappy

Mindful Reaction to happiness and unhappiness

If we looked at the Dostoevsky quote from above, we can now clearly see the source of unhappiness in someone life is not at all unhappiness. It is just our embracement and focus on happiness. If we did not expect happiness to be permanent in the first place, which is its natural trend, we would not embrace it so hard when it appears but be gentle like a guitarist. Smooth like an artist handling the paint. And calm like a monk, when happiness roams the mind. Which again is replicated when it is sadness. It is the same response, or action which you should carry out when you are either happy or sad. There is no point having two different reactions to these two states of mind as actually they are not two in reality.