Pain of existence

I realized yesterday, I am procrastinating on watching Netflix. I have 3 unwatched TV series and many movies to catch up and follow. I am below the level of their posting to watch everything I desire. Not that it is a race, but as life happens, I don't want to miss out on good stuff. That is partly why I keep each and every article of mine to a bare maximum 3-4 minutes. I just want to give a message, or a few seconds of entertainment, if I am writing a story or a poem. So, yesterday, I watched and finished full series, watching eight hours straight. I only had slept few hours, and by the time writing of this I feel like crap. I am a crumbled piece of paper in a waste bin.

Pain of existence.

I can clearly remember how the yesterday started. I did not feel this low. I was high on my spirits, galloping my way to work like a Shire horse. I know this was a rare high for an ordinary day, but as you can see, the day did not go as planned or at least did not continue to be productive at the same level. Someone reminded me yesterday, that every high is followed by a low, and every low is followed by a high. I really understand this to be true. What is travelling forwards in time is a wave function, not a stationary bullet. If you have looked at the sky lately, you would have seen that the moons tend to shine brighter when they appear after a rain. I am not sure whether it is due to the washing away of the atmospheric dust created by modern automobiles. Or whether it is an illusion of mind. But that appears to be true.

Waves

Roots of the pain.

While sitting in this half empty cold library room, I try to figure out truth about my life, thinking in line of great, wise people who happened to be ancestors of myself. If, there is a high, that I am wishing for in my life, I indirectly agree I am not currently in such a state of right now. As an example, if I am wishing to cease my suffering and death, I agree to the fact that I am salvageable being living in this cosmos. If I say yes to the heaven, I am opening a door to the hell as well. If, I say yes to happiness, I invite sadness into my world. If I embrace success, I do embrace the failure which defines the nature of the success. What should I do now? Not embrace anything? How can I logically overcome the pain of existence by not embracing existence?

At the moment, it is just a question more than an answer. I am not eager to solve it either. As, I know, if I try to solve that thing, I will create another problem. Instead, I choose to do some mindful observation of the present.