Why you should have a mentor?
Why I wish I had a mentor?
Because life is short, and there is not much of it to live, yet it demands so much to accomplish, I wish I had a mentor. Not just when I am stuck with a domain-specific problem, in a narrow field where I cannot even stretch my arms and free my legs, but I wish I had a mentor to know the places where I should go, instead of struggling to find peace. Who would teach me to create my own pothole of mud in a field, to escape the constant attack of life's flies, if I were a buffalo. Who would teach me how to wag my tail and enjoy munching a mouthful of grass amidst the chaos of life. As I am inexperienced, anxious, and isolated when it comes to insecurities, I feel unsure about how to spend the rest of this life. Am I even doing the correct thing, which is judged by myself at the end of life? Or am I just wasting my time chasing rabbits that run away from me? Would a kind-hearted mentor provide me with insight and tips to make my pretty boring, ordinary life an unimaginably happy affair effortlessly? Not by falsified advice but by example, would he/she not guide me?
Why should you have a mentor?
Imagine you're an elite athlete. At some point in your professional career, beyond basic skills and regional tournaments, you would need a mentor to push you an extra mile into the national and international level. I am not talking about your coach. I am talking about someone who would inspire you, be compassionate about your progression, and only wish good for you, with relevant background experience in what you're experiencing, to identify and foresee your limitations, and to help you safely navigate across the unknown waters. Someone full of character like a pilot who trains pilots, a navigator who instructs a captain of a ship, a panel of advisors to a ruthless dictator. Would you not want such a person to exist? I am not talking here about self-help gurus who try to scavenge on your success. I am talking about a victorious person who has nothing but to give to society what he experienced in life, with the generosity of a philanthropist.
Advantage of having a mentor.
Advantages are many. In early life, we were like a bunch of kids thrown into pools and asked to swim; if not, we would drown in life. We were like dandelions floating in the air, looking for fertile grounds to plant our seeds and grow our roots. If anyone was present during these golden days, we wouldn't waste our time. Someone who picks up our character and channels our positive energy into unexpected routes we did not even think possible. Consider Usain Bolt, the fastest 100-meter runner on the planet. If you screen all the people on earth for their running ability, you would at least find 100 more men and even a few women who can run faster than Bolt. These are the odds, but all those talented individuals are doing something without living up to their full potential, as they do not have guidance. They lack some ingredient in their soup, which they can never know without the fourth-dimensional look from an external interpreter. A mentor would just give that, as he/she is someone more experienced than you, has lived more life than you, and has more domain knowledge, which is transferable from other disciplines. Company, inspiration, advice, and non-judgmental feedback which you're free to follow if deemed true. (At the end of the article, you will find a full list of roles of a mentor - AI generated)
How to find a mentor?
You may have someone in your mind whom you wish to have as your mentor. But this is only a potential unless you act upon it. They are busy, they value their time, but if you are keen on building, most good mentors are approachable. You just need to ask relevant questions specific to your problem. Without asking "Can you be my mentor?" which is a huge commitment for them, you can ask, "I am working on this project, or becoming this in the future, is there any insight you can provide me from your experience?" This will give them the value of status, which someone cannot buy from a market. I am sure not many people would turn down such a request unless they are really busy or occupied. But not everyone is capable of teaching or guiding, so when they speak, you will have to be wise and choose what appears relevant for your path. Instead of one, you can have a board of mentors for your career, technical aspect, intellectual, creative, and business endeavors.
What if You cannot find a mentor? Is there alternative?
I would say a mentor is an asset that is irreplaceable. Because we are all biased in our own narrative, only an external observer can provide us with a bird's-eye view. However, the best alternative, I would say, is to read books written by them, read biographies, and study interesting people from the past. Critically analyze your own day each and every day, as if you are viewing from a distance outside your own ego, trying to figure out how others see you. If you ask your friends an honest question while having dinner, they will definitely give a critical analysis of your situation. Although these actions are helpful, they are not as sustainable as having a mentor. A mentor is like an emerald you dig up from deep underground and hold onto until you die, as they provide value to your life in many ways.
AI generated list of advantages of having a mentor
Shortens the learning curve
You can learn from someone else's years of experience instead of making every mistake yourself.
Provides perspective
When you are stuck in a problem, a mentor can look at it from outside and offer a different way of seeing it.
Helps you avoid mistakes
They can warn you about common mistakes before you encounter them.
Challenges your thinking
A good mentor doesn't simply agree with you. They may ask, "Why do you think that?" or "Have you considered this possibility?"
Provides accountability
Telling someone your goal can make you more likely to actually work toward it.
Helps identify your weaknesses
You may not notice your own blind spots. A mentor can point them out constructively.
Builds confidence
Knowing that someone experienced believes you can improve can make difficult goals feel more achievable.
Offers practical knowledge
Books can teach principles, but mentors can explain how those principles work in real situations.
Helps with important decisions
A mentor can help you examine the consequences of different choices without necessarily making the decision for you.
Expands your network
Experienced mentors may introduce you to people, organizations, opportunities, or communities you wouldn't otherwise encounter.
Shows what the future can look like
Seeing someone who has already travelled part of the path gives you a concrete example of what is possible.
Provides emotional perspective
During setbacks, a mentor can remind you that failure, uncertainty, and slow progress are often normal parts of development.
AI generated a list of advantages of having a mentor. I wonder how many people already use AI as a mentor. 🤔